Fighting for the Good at Heart

For an entire year I planned to write a new blog post and several weeks ago I finally wrote an article that I was determined to share.  I edited this and edited that, but I could never get it right.  I wanted to get people to understand differences on a specific hot topic and maybe, find common ground; but sharing that article, even though it went through some extensive research and editing, hasn’t felt inspired.  I knew people would only see the issue and lose the point. Very early Wednesday morning, at what seemed the most inopportune time, the words I needed suddenly came to my mind and I immediately started writing a completely new article.   My blog states that I believe Anne Frank’s words that “People are really good at heart.”  This year I have fought an internal battle, lost, and fought again to defend this belief from myself.  Why?

Social media has left a bad taste in my mouth...forgive the cliche, but it really does taste bad.  People I love have shown a side of them that I wish I had never seen.  They filled up my feed with political attacks, unchecked rumors, and hurtful accusations, some of which insulted my personal beliefs and opinions.  I have unfollowed so many dear friends, because I refused to allow Facebook John or Facebook Sally (these are fictionalized names) to ruin the in-person relationships and memories that I cherish.  However, as much as I tried to ignore this side of people, it was constantly being brought back to my thoughts.  

The more anger and misunderstanding I witnessed dished out at opposing parties, the more angered and disillusioned I felt.  Were people really not good at heart?  Injustices were screaming inside of my head.  There are very few things that I can tolerate less than perpetuated lies or unjust accusations, no matter how they are shared.  How could people really be good at heart when so many seemed to be willingly fanning the flames of discord throughout social media?  Some of you may be thinking, “That’s right!  Tell them!”  There is a tendency to deflect when someone is making accusations and think that these words are intended for someone else, usually someone we feel has wronged us or someone with whom we don’t agree.   But if peace in this world is a common goal, then we must all constantly do a self-evaluation...an honest one and start that evaluation by assuming it could be me.  The purpose of this post is not to make anyone feel bad, but to, hopefully, inspire change.  

These relentless feelings were tearing me apart from the inside out.  I can honestly admit that I was feeling animosity towards an entire group of people who I felt were destroying my belief that people truly are good at heart.  After all, it was their fault I could no longer see the good, wasn’t it? I mean, they were turning my loving America into a battleground where no one ever wins and the only way to survive is to escalate. 

I couldn’t emotionally handle how people refuse to see evil, because it serves them to ignore it, or to see honor and goodness because it doesn’t jive with their biases. These glaring flaws became all I could think or talk about. I tried desperately to separate my friends from this group and only feel disgruntled with the faceless (as if that was any better).  But these feelings couldn’t be kept from tainting my relationships, despite my attempts, because it was my friends, not strangers, who made this feel so personal.  

These feelings became harder to fight in the middle of a pandemic, where the social media version of my friends was my only contact.  I was miserable, but felt justified in my anger, because people were choosing ignorance over truth and retribution over kindness.  And yet, what did my anger do to solve anything?  Nothing. Spoiler:  I know that all it was doing was taking away my own internal peace and sanity.

Weeks of misery turned into months.  I completely got off my social media account which had poisoned my outlook.  I went into hermit mode.  I tried to go through life with rose colored glasses over my eyes and noise cancelling earphones over my ears.  But, despite my efforts, the outside world kept creeping into my life through various channels and my disappointment and resentment towards people continued to grow.

Then, finally, October came, and with it, my healing.  Every six months my church holds a broadcasted conference, in which we listen to the leaders of our entire world church for 5 two hour sessions.  I absolutely love every minute of this event.  I look forward to it, the same as I do Christmas!  I think some might compare my enthusiasm to that of tailgating and football season…Seriously though, this weekend strengthens my soul, brings me much needed peace in a crazy world, and gives me the courage to make improving changes in my life.  

The theme of each session overflowed with messages of Christ-like love.  As I pondered the words and thoughts of these speakers, whom I admire and try to emulate, my mind and my heart began to grasp tightly to this thought.  I have always believed in Christ-like love, but if I wanted to love my fellowman again, I needed to truly embrace the action of Christ-like love...giving it unconditionally and allowing forgiveness to work in every aspect of my life. 

If Christ can love all of God’s children, no matter what they have done or whom they have hurt, if he can love me with all my flaws, mistakes and imperfections, I can certainly forgive people for words and actions that unintentionally or intentionally encouraged contention, instead of love. And, I’ve decided to assume it is unintentional.  For those of you who do not have my specific faith, I hope you too believe there is love that heals seemingly, unhealable wounds.  If not yet, give love a try.

I gave into this thought completely and I let go of all my hurt feelings, all of my anger.  I began to see the faces of the people I love once again as just that, people I truly love.  Forgiving my friends hasn’t changed my friends, it has changed me. I realized that I was the reason I stopped believing in the good at heart and that I could believe again, if I was willing to do the work and trust in God.  

I continued to see more clearly as I wrote and rewrote my previously alluded to unpublished blog post.  As I researched deeper into both the moral and political issue I was focusing on, I began to see how easy it was for misinformation to seep into my own life and create wrong viewpoints.   Seeing my own flaws made it so much easier to forgive anothers’ flaws.   

This change of heart moved me to follow another inspiring message I received from this same conference:  Sharon Eubanks, the first counselor in the General Relief Society Presidency (our church’s women’s organization), said the following, “I believe the change we seek in ourselves and in the groups we belong to will come less by activism and more by actively trying every day to understand one another.”  

I no longer want to actively get people to see how they are wrong, or try and push others to understand me; instead, I want to actively try to understand them.  I want to understand the good parts of them that are driving their actions, instead of focusing on the act itself.  I seek our common ground.  And you know what? I will find it, because I am looking.  As I focus on their intentions and our similarities, I can once again see the good in their hearts.  

My intentional understanding isn’t limited to just my friends and loved ones, it has spread to acquaintances and people whom I may never meet.  I don’t need to condone anyone’s wrongdoings or support misinformation, and I can still stand for what I believe (in respectful and honorable ways), as we all should.  But, more importantly, I can still have respect for others’ experiences that have shaped their own perspectives without feeling defensive of my own.  I will no longer allow isolated negative actions to define my fellowman or allow those actions to supplant all their good and worthy parts.  I will remember their good hearts.  

And now, to all those whose light, and my love, I allowed to diminish in my life, I ask your forgiveness.  

While this experience has taught me to fully accept that there are those who purposely seek destruction and hate, I will not forget that the ratio of good at heart to these evil people is so disproportionate and I can continue to hope the good will conquer the evil.  For the most part, people really are good at heart.  And one thing I know, without a doubt, is that all within my personal circle are these truly good at heart.

My challenge to all who read these words, is to purposefully and willfully take the time to understand those whom you believe are wrong on any kind of level.  I speak to those who may be hurting and I speak to those who could be causing pain.  It is also important to remember who may read or hear your words. Even though your friends may share the same sociality as you do, it is important to acknowledge and accept that they may still believe differently and it is important to remember this in all your interactions. Because while your words may be intended to defeat an enemy, they may hurt someone you hold dear.  And hopefully, as we gain understanding, we will hold all people dear, regardless of politics or anything else that makes us different.

I encourage you to evaluate your words in conversations and posts on social media.  If you are feeling defensive or angry, please take a step back, think and then fight those feelings by sharing something that uplifts and connects us.  I promise this continued effort will give you the balm you need to stave your negative feelings.   

I dare you to look at opposing political sides and find your common ground. Find what good intentions drive their beliefs and then see them for the first time as a brother or sister in this incredible world wide family we call humankind. I challenge all who read this, no matter their political, religious, or social affiliations, to finally see each other the way that God sees you; flawed and imperfect, but beautiful and individually important.  I have accepted my own challenge, and I have already increased the joy I feel in my life by just appreciating the differences in all people, whether I know them personally or not. 

I hope you will all accept my challenge to see one another’s good hearts and I hope to see within my own small associations the beginning of change, and maybe...“through [these] small and simple things [we will see] great things...brought to pass.”(Alma 37:6 The Book of Mormon)

Standing for Truth and Righteousness

When I was a youth, every Sunday in my church I would rise with the other young women when asked to Stand For Truth and Righteousness, and we would recite our Young Women’s theme.  Here is part of that theme:  “WE ARE DAUGHTERS of our Heavenly Father, who loves us, and we love Him. WE WILL “STAND as witnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places” (Mosiah 18:9, The Book of Mormon)...”

Lately, I’ve been thinking about what it means these days to stand for truth and righteousness.  I’ve decided that it means I can no longer sit quietly and wait for things to blow over because I’m afraid of offending someone or because I don’t think what I have to say will make any difference.  I asked myself, what if no one ever took a stand?  What if both Martin Luthers, Thomas Jefferson, Galileo, or even Jesus Christ had stayed silent because they we’re afraid?  Not that I group myself in with these significant examples, but how can I know the difference I can make if I never try?  Now that doesn’t mean that I want to offend anyone, and I’m going to be very mindful of that.  What I ask of those who may not feel the same way as I do, but know me and know my heart and all I strive for, and even those who do not know me to please read this with an open heart and mind...and perhaps with a prayer in your heart that you will hear truth when it is spoken.

Anne Frank, this is for you.

The divide in this country, I would argue, deepened during the turn of this century with the formation of certain polarizing parties within the existing parties.  I don’t blame President Bush. I believe he was doing the best he could with what he had, and I believe he honestly believed he was doing for his country what he thought was best.  I believe the same of President Obama.  Both men are good men, who love their wives and their children and their country.  Just because I see the good in them, doesn’t mean I agreed with all of their policies and choices.  I don’t.  However, I believe that it is more important that the person who represents this country is a good and kind hearted person with intelligence and an understanding of how to work with others than what their political beliefs are.

When I vote for someone to represent me, I never look at his or her political viewpoints first.  That is always the last thing I look at.  First, I look at what kind of person they are.  I observe their countenance and listen to how they speak and how they treat others, their closest friends and their deepest enemies.

I know there are many who believe what a President does in his private life is no concern of theirs.  Well, I don’t agree with this because of one of the most important beliefs I hold regarding this great country: I believe that God watches over and guides this country and he cannot inspire someone whose heart dwells in darkness, or whose heart thinks of no one but his own.  And even without that belief, I cannot trust someone that cannot hold trust with even those he supposedly loves.

Two years ago, I had friends who said they voted for Trump because they felt he was their only option, but that they didn’t agree with who he was and that they didn’t like him.  I asked after the election that those who voted for him, who did it for these reasons, that they stand up against any tyranny and disrespect that may come from him.  I have not seen these stands.  What I’ve observed is that many (not all, but too many) of those who voted for him and Republicans who were adamant that he was a terrible person and voted 3rd party, are now defending his every move and every statement.  It is unfathomable to me that anyone would defend any politician on every issue, whether they voted for him or not.  I cannot believe that everyone who voted agree 100% with everything their candidate stands for.  It is almost as though the voter feels regret in their choice and is now trying to deny it by saying their candidate is of course perfect, because they voted for him.  The voter should be holding the candidate to their standard and not the other way around.

This is not an attack on Republicans, I’m just as irritated with the way many Democrats have been acting, especially within Congress.  They have continued the cycle of revenge when the opposing party is in office.  Let me just say, “An eye for an eye, just makes the whole world blind”.  And currently, within our political parties, that is exactly what we are: blind.  Our current President knows this and is cashing in on America’s inability to forgive and be the better person...or party.  He is driving the wedge even deeper between us, because it benefits him.  He is feeding our easily influenced egos with the lie that we are better than everyone else.  And his words have festered in the hearts of far too many.  Remember that time when a group of people believed they were better than another and millions and millions of innocent people were murdered?  I thought it was impossible to forget.

The media has shot itself in the foot the last couple of decades and they are paying for it now.  But far worse, is when our leader asks the people to distrust the only sources we have to find the truth.  I have always been able to find the truth, even mingled within biases and distracted discourses.  The truth is the part that connects every perspective.  If we stop trusting the news completely, then we are in danger of following all other nations that have fallen under fascist rule and dictatorship.

Tyranny also comes if we continue to put any group of people into a box of degradation and trample it with hatred.  History repeats itself every time a new group of people has tried to become American, or when an indigenous people has attacked us, or someone’s beliefs do not fully jive with the majority, or whose minority group has sought for equal rights.  The American Japanese were put in concentration camps during WWII, people fought to keep Catholics out of our country, people enslaved other humans and continue to do so in many respects, women are suppressed, good and pious Muslims are slandered.  Persecuted people, including Jews, Christians, Muslims and many others who are suffering have been barred from seeking refuge within our borders. My own ancestors in the early days of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints were met with the same callous and heartless refusals, meanwhile men, women and children were torn apart, murdered and their homes destroyed.

We need order and we need protection, but putting walls, either figurative or physical, between us will only isolate us and make us more susceptible to those who would love nothing more than to see us fall.  Sometimes walls are necessary, but it is important to remember that they do not solve problems, they only hide them.  Look at the countries that are hard pressed to let anyone in who isn’t their own...they are communist, dictator ruled, and fascist countries, whose people are oppressed and live daily in fear and in want of what we have.

I have faith in my country, because I have faith in He who inspired it.  But I know that mankind does a very good job of destroying gifts that God has given us and I don’t want my country coming so close to destruction that we never really get back what we have or that we never grow to be what we truly could be.

America is and has always been about opportunity, second chances, open minds and open doors, freedom from the horrors of this world, and simply hope.  I can no longer stand idly by and allow anyone to turn America into a land of ignorance, hatred, ego, and fear.

Please stand with me and fight to close the cavernous gaps that enchain us.   If we don’t stand together now, then we may never be given another chance because “a house divided against itself cannot stand”.

American Rights, American Freedom

In the early settling years of America, many people pilgrimaged here, seeking freedom from religious persecution.  The Puritans, who are commonly associated with this hopeful migration, wanted freedom to worship how they believed—without the oppression of the more wide-spread Church of England—so they came to America, a land still so new and unspoilt.  They came to ensure their own rights.  However, when they were introduced to the Quakers, religious freedom was apparently a right that only they possessed.  They tormented the Quakers shamelessly.  The Puritans, who had just been persecuted, were now dishing it out to others for the very same reason that they had been on the receiving end—they were different. 

This seems to be the pattern of human rights.  Seek desperately for your own rights and then take away the rights of those who do not agree with your belief system or who don’t fit your mold.  Equality is all well and good—as long as you have more of it than those who are different from you.  It’s my middle school reading of Animal Farm all over again, “All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others” (George Orwell).  This pattern of imbalanced equality has continued in America, even into our 21^st century.  The Irish Catholic were persecuted for being different—just think about what a major game changer it was for John F. Kennedy to be elected president.  Catholics had been here since the beginning of our America, and yet, it took until half way through the 20^th century for a Catholic to be accepted.  The Mormons were driven from one city to another and from state to state until they were finally outside the borders of the United States.  Because Mormon beliefs were different, those who ignorantly feared them actually extended an Extermination Order.  Yep.  Equal rights were definitely not for Mormons.  Thankfully, they were eventually accepted (of sorts) and even managed to get a viable Presidential Candidate…after much harangue.  Currently, Muslims are being estranged and tyrannized because, once again, people fear what they don’t understand.

It is not just the acceptance of different religious groups and their right to rights that we as a humans struggle with.  I want to point out that it is rights in general that people have a hard time sharing.  The Native Americans were branded savages and their land and homes were taken in the name of Manifest Destiny.  The Japanese American, many of which had lived their whole life here, were placed in concentration camps after Pearl Harbor…because they were of Japanese descent.  Hollywood was turned inside out in the Communist witch hunt.  Black Americans were not allowed to use the same bathroom as white Americans…because even after 200 years living here, they were still just the color of their skin.  All four of these examples were driven by ignorance and fear.  Women were not allowed to vote because…well, they were women, you know, the “weaker sex”.  In each instance, a group of Americans had to fight for their rights against those who feared losing their own. There is no room for fear in America.  It gets in our way of being united.  Being an American should mean that you have the right to worship, vote, and think as you please…as long as you are devoted to America and upholding her freedom. 

Outside of America, and yes there are plenty more examples inside of America, the French Revolution stands out in my mind as a horrible example of what happens when one group of people finally gain their rights, and fail to remember the importance of equal rights.  The long oppressed poor of France won control of their country.  They finally could have equal rights; but many were filled with a vengeful passion.  Their own rights were not enough.  They had to destroy everyone who represented what kept them down.  So they went on a so-called legal attempt at genocide of the entire upper class.  Women, men and children were executed because of the life-style into which they were born. 

No, life is not fair.  Equality is not free, and it oftentimes must be fought for.  Whether it is religious freedom or civil rights, we can’t forget why America was established in the first place: freedom and equality for all.  America is not perfect.  Why? Because it’s people are not perfect.  However, this does not excuse attempts to take away the rights of others because their viewpoints are different.  Different viewpoints are what make America so strong and so beautiful.  They are what keep us from falling under the tyranny of despots.  Seriously!  The Founding Father’s came up with that truly inspired idea.  The more groups of citizens with differing opinions (factions), the safer America is from dictatorship. 

It’s true that we need to fight to gain or keep our personal rights, but I would add, it is even more important, for all that America represents, to fight for the rights of those whom with we don’t agree.  Why?  Because equal rights are not limited to one viewpoint.  Equal rights are strengthened and perfected when we uphold the rights of all.  If you want equality, then you must take it and give it at the same time.  So whether you are a believer in God or Atheist, Christian or Muslim, White or Black, Gay or not, Woman or Man, or whatever other group you may identify with, fight for your rights and fight for the rights of those who do not share your beliefs. 

In light of the recent Supreme Court ruling, I would ask that those who gained their rights not seek to take away the rights of those who opposed.  Do not let history repeat itself.  Stop thinking of rights specific to your ideology.  Remember the important separation of Church and State and that there really is a difference.  And then remember, it is not gay rights verses religious freedom; it is American rights and American freedom.

American Politics: A Marriage on the Rocks

You may be wondering why I am tackling this subject.  I see this topic of incessant discussion as one of the most heated and poisoned.  And because of its contentious nature, it also prevents much of the good at heart from ever being recognized or even remembered.  So I’m going to tell you what is wrong with the state of America’s politics and how I feel it should be corrected.

America is like a marriage.  In a marriage you have two unique people coming together with varying viewpoints and experiences.  Since the predominant political viewpoints are Republican and Democrat—these two will represent the experiences and opinions each spouse brings to the marriage.  You can decide which spouse takes which viewpoint.  I know who I think each is, but that would defuse the point of my writing this blog…so I leave it to you.  So, here we have a marriage of two seemingly different entities, from completely different backgrounds, families, sometimes station in life, and even many cultural differences.  And their marriage contract—the thing that holds them together and holds them to their promises to keep their entire family (still America) safe and strong--is the Constitution.  Like all marriages there are ups and downs, there are miscommunications, childish tirades, the silent treatment, and hurt feelings.  But as any couple knows, the only way to keep a union working and strong with so many differences is through compromises.  Compromise seems to be a swear word in the political world these days.  And yet, it is still important.

Viewpoints are so polarized that no one can or is allowed to compromise without compromising their political hierarchy.  I watched this conundrum in full play during the last two Presidential elections.  I did my homework and did research on each candidate.  The candidates’ political views began extremely moderate—great compromising material for a polarized country.  But as the campaigning continued (and in the President’s case—through both elections) I watched as their respective parties made each man pull away from middle ground.  By the end of this last election, both men were by then—at least on paper—polarized.  But they started with the ability to find common ground.

Compromise is a necessary component to any working relationship—especially ones as important as marriage…or the upholding of a great country.  In fact, it was compromise that made THIS country possible.  Every year on the 4^th of July I watch A More Perfect Union: America Becomes a Nation, a great movie to remember how, miraculously, a group of highly opinionated men with varied backgrounds could come together and create the Constitution of America.  If these men didn’t understand how important this Union was, they would never have been able to reach common ground.  But they did.  They knew that America—not their own opinion—was worth fighting for.  Now, that doesn’t mean they weren’t fighting to protect what they truly felt was important.  They did.  They tried to find common ground for 4 months before the Constitution was complete.   Most relationships that are lacking any true commitment would not have survived such a long and grueling debate.  But again, they knew the significance of what they were creating together.  After much back and forth the Great Compromise of 1887 was reached and the Legislative branch was formed—mostly as we know it today (there was more tweaking later on).  Since this is not meant to be a history lesson—just a lesson to learn from history—if you’re interested in learning how it all went down in the simplest terms, check it out here on Wikipedia: 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Connecticut_Compromise

Or the whole kit and caboodle:

http://www.archives.gov/exhibits/charters/constitution_history.html

http://www.history.com/topics/constitution

Now what are the consequences of a stubborn and polarized country?  Remember a not so little thing called the Civil War?  I sure do.  What started this war?  Poor compromising resulted in a climactic death toll of fellow Americans.  Technically, the issue of slavery was addressed in the Constitutional Convention 74 years before the Civil War began.  And then again with the Slave Trade Act of 1794…and again with the Slave Trade Act of 1807.  However, none of these Acts ended Slavery.  They didn’t even manage to stop the slave trade.  Here we have an excellent example of what NOT to do when compromising.  The husband and wife couldn’t see eye to eye on this issue.  Here we had a newly married country and instead of addressing their state differences head-on and finding a solution that worked—they continued doing what would ultimately lead to a separation.  Luckily—there were some great marriage counselors who worked it all out—with a lot of death and carnage in the process.

What can we learn from this tragic example of poor compromise?  For starters, both political sides need to be 100% devoted to making the compromise.  They need to give what they know they are willing to follow through.  Politicians need to find common ground and solutions and stop searching for ways to dismantle what little compromise is eked out of this so-called political process.  Imagine if the Southern states had looked and found other means of economical increase in the time allotted to them by the Constitutional Convention and then stopped slavery of their own accord.  The civil war damaged the Southern economy in ways from which it has never fully recovered.  If the states had made a true compromise, lives may have been spared, homes left undivided, and once great cities would have remained.

This leads to another pressing question that needs answering.  Who should be doing the compromising?  Well, we all SHOULD.  But, who runs this country?  Better yet, who do The People think run this country?  Every Presidential election year, the people of America finally start paying attention to candidates.  “We’re electing the most powerful man/woman, we’ve got to make sure we choose the best person.”  Well, it is true that we need to choose the best person for the current needs of America.  But the President is not all that powerful.  What about Executive Orders?  Eh.  Lots of presidents have given executive orders.  According to the National Archives, President Franklin D. Roosevelt gave over 3,000 executive orders, President Bush only made it to 291 and President Obama has a lot of catching up to do with only 199.  So, the president can issue an Executive Order…as long as it isn’t contested by the Judicial Branch.  This really isn’t that much power.  The most powerful branch of government is Congress.  If you don’t believe me, maybe you’ll believe the words of one of our Founding Fathers:  "...[I]t is not possible to give to each department and equal power of self-defense.  In republican government, the legislative authority necessarily predominates."  (James Madison from The Federalist Papers #51).  The legislative branch is Congress.  Congress, which is a supposed representation of The People, holds the most power—and rightfully so.  However, in recent years, Congress appears to be less about The People and more about politics.

According to Ron Elving of NPR, “The heightened partisanship cemented in Congressional district lines has created safe havens where most Republicans and Democrats no longer worry about pleasing anyone other than primary voters.  If the primary voter goes with the incumbent, the incumbent is almost certain to go back to Washington…The audience that must be served is the far narrower one that cares about party and policy and issues—and works to elect candidates as devoted to their ideology and as hostile to the other party as they themselves are…Republican districts are now more Republican than ever, and most Democratic districts are more Democratic than ever. [Please forgive the biased superlative somewhere in the middle—and focus on his take-home message.]  As fewer and fewer members have “swing districts,” the necessity of constant partisan emphasis grows worse and worse.  Even the notion of compromise becomes hazardous.”

Compromise is the essence of a working country, and yet, we’ve created a congress where compromise is the enemy?  This is wrong.  Since Congress doesn’t always feel the need to listen to the Regular Joe voter like you and me, what can we do?  It seems a hopeless case.  Nothing is hopeless, especially, not in this great Country!  We need to whitewash Congress.  (Not going to happen—but a girl can dream)  We need to start voting for the Jeff Smiths of this country (Mr. Smith Goes to Washington), both the male and female versions (this can and should happen).  Let’s remind congress who really runs this country…and no, it is still not the President (although they’ve all looked really great on stamps).

Compromise in not a luxury; it is a necessity.  Polarity is destruction; it is not a solution.  We have to find common ground.  We have to.  No relationship has ever survived the inability to compromise.  Not a marriage and definitely not a Nation.  While I don’t feel we have another Civil War looming ahead of us, I do feel we are living a civil war of the minds.  We live in an America where hostile politics are the norm and Boy Scout politicians are destroyed publicly.  It’s time that ‘We the People” filibuster congress.  Let’s not sit down or stop talking until they start listening.  And what should we say?  That we’re tired of these childish shenanigans.  We want a country that prides itself on being able to compromise and not on being a bunch of donkeys…or elephants.

Ignorance

Over 5 million Jews were killed during the Holocaust.  This number never ceases to be staggering. How could something like this happen in a fairly modern and so-called civilized world?  How could any human being, with the ability to not only feel but understand love and compassion, ever consent and condone the murder and attempted genocide of men, women and children because of their religion?  And yet, this type of bigoted attitude still thrives in our world today.  There are many reasons why Hitler's Jewish hatred and distorted viewpoints spread like a highly contagious virus. Too many.  Jealousy. Fear.  Biases.  The list could continue, but today I want to address the one reason that, I feel, encompasses them all:  Ignorance.  Ignorance is defined as "the lack of knowledge or information".  Synonyms include:  incomprehension of, unawareness of, unconsciousness of, unfamiliarity with, inexperience with...and so on and so on.

How could Hitler gain so many followers?  He fed them his deluded ideas and their egos feasted.  But it was ignorance about the Jewish people that led to nefarious and disastrous events.  What would have happened if people, upon hearing Hitler’s views, cross-checked the “facts” being presented?  What if they had taken the time to get to know a Jewish neighbor, asked a Jewish person about their faith, observed Jewish traditions?  Now let me be clear.  There were non-ignorant people who did exactly this.  Some already had Jewish friends or had educated themselves and couldn’t be swayed by the popular and mainstream views.   But what is so disturbing to me is the fact that over 5 million Jews were murdered.  It wasn’t just a few followers.  It was many.  You can’t have these kind of detrimental and genocidal effects with a handful of people.  If Hitler’s views had been discredited early on and no one acted on them out of ignorance- nothing would have happened.  He would have disappeared into nothingness.  No one would remember his name, or at least, no one would care. 

Let me state here that what follows is not meant to insult anyone’s intelligence.  Intelligent and well-educated people do and say ignorant things just as often as the un-intelligent and uneducated people.  I can willingly admit to having had my share of ignorance and I hope I have learned and continue to learn from my mistakes.  The point of this blog is meant to change the heart and help us all realize our mistakes and help us rectify them. 

So why is this subject current?  I witness the same ignorance daily.  And sometimes, to the extreme of Hitler’s regime.  Ignorance has fueled racism.  Ignorance rules politics.  Ignorance breeds hatred between varying religions. 

One of the biggest instigator of all things ignorant is the news media.  Let me explain how news works.  People of varying biases segregate themselves into specific news providers and networks.  Then they proceed to present recent history as irrefutable truth.  Here is a fact:  the moment history is put down from one viewpoint it becomes a work of fiction.  I can hear each political side chiming in here.  “The Democrats slant news to their biased and wrong opinions and I only trust Republican news”.  “Oh, no!  It’s the Republicans who broadcast falsified facts and the Democrats get it right!”  But here is another fact:  both sides are the authors and both sides slant it their way.  It is part of human nature to see things from what our experience has taught us.  This is why it is so important to cross-check “facts”. 

So many times I see on Facebook a news article posted that declares So and So as a tyrant because they said this absolutely horrible thing during an interview or a public speech.  And the responses go something like this…”How could they say that?”  “How completely un-American.”  Etc. Etc. Blah. Blah. Blah.  Oftentimes, I witness name calling and derelict language.  Apparently on the internet, you’re guilty until proven innocent.  Ignorance.  But what happens when you actually read the accused tyrant’s words in context and not through the already biased eyes of some reporter?    All of a sudden, their words take on whole new meanings.  And usually those meanings were not what was reported.  Usually they are harmless and referring to something completely unrelated to what they were being accused of saying. 

Now the first crime of ignorance was indeed brought forth by the news reporter. They ignorantly thought that their negative opinions of a fellow human were worth sharing as truth (In the world of political talk-show hosts, they’re actually paid to present antagonistic and inflammatory opinions).  Then these biases are readily eaten up by the ignorant because people willingly believe everything at face value.  Then it is posted for all your friends to add their own uniformed and fallacy ridden opinions.  And within seconds, the victim of news has had their reputation bespattered all over social media. 

What is the point of this diatribe?  Please.  Please! Do your research before posting anything.  Cross-check your “facts” (this is my 3^rd time mentioning this thought).  Stop using only one source of information.  Broaden your viewpoint by educating your mind with multiple viewpoints. 

What?!!  Listen to what the opposing side has to say?  From their own lips?  Actually listen to why they believe what they believe?  Are you serious?  That’s like blasphemy and punishable by death, isn’t it?  How far-fetched an idea?  Insane!  Witchcraft!  Burn her at the stake! 

I admit this idea does seem novel and perhaps too hard for the hard-headed.  But maybe if this happens we might actually get more unbiased information, instead of the inflated news that is currently predominant.  What would result from not distorting the facts because all the viewers were informed and not easily finagled into believing anything they hear?  I’ll tell you.  World peace.  You laugh and scoff, but what causes war is the inability for humans to put ignorance aside and try to understand each other’s viewpoints.  I don’t mean that everyone should have the same viewpoints, or to accept other’s opinions as your own—just because.  It is important and a part of what makes us individuals to have our own beliefs and opinions.  But it is also more humane and compassionate to listen and accept that not everyone thinks the same as you.  And to respect those opinions.  Now if those opinions are not in keeping with basic human laws….like cheating, stealing, murder, etc…feel free to be 100% against those opinions and fight them both tooth and nail.

In a world of varying viewpoints, religion seems to be one of the most ignorantly approached subjects in existence.  I was raised in a religion that was misrepresented and continues to be misrepresented by those who don’t believe as I do.  Those ignorant views in earlier times led to fear and deep-rooted hatred which in turn led to persecution and murders…nothing like the holocaust, but just as wrong.  Nowadays I don’t have to worry about my family’s safety, but I can still sometimes feel the effects of long-standing ignorance causing hostility.  And because of this personal experience, nothing puts me into a passionate tirade faster than hearing other religions besmirched, including my own. 

The largest world religions have the same basic messages.  And the biggest one is loving one another.  No one religion has the market on love and kindness.  Now there are definitely groups of evil people who take their religion and drag it through the mud, while professing their actions to be sanctioned by their beliefs—when in truth, they are acting against the core values they are misrepresenting.  These groups of people are extremists, or radicals.  Sometimes they refer to themselves (and sometimes misguided others refer to them) as fundamentalist.  But these groups have twisted the very values of their religion, such that they are as far from fundamental as you can get.  However, they still manage to dupe the ignorant masses into believing everyone with the same religious name is one and the same.  What annoys me is how the few are so easily grouped with the majority.  I have witnessed in my own Faith people doing things that are not in keeping with our beliefs (a lot of times they are some off-shoot religion, but not always), and immediately the populace is pointing their grimy and accusatory fingers at everyone within my Faith.  Stop judging by the minority.  And remember, don’t trust the news to give you a crystal clear viewpoint either.

Here comes my next request.  Do your research.  Look at the numbers.  How many people actually follow extremist views as opposed to the number of members who follow the actual religion?  Learn about many diverse religions and their beliefs.  Get to know people of other Faiths.  Each religion has its own beauties and some pretty incredible people.  Don’t repeat history.  Instead let’s envision and create a world where religion is no longer a reason to fight or kill our neighbors.

There is a trend in social media of putting a prominent figure in society’s picture next to Hitler’s and saying that the two are one and the same.  Usually the biggest crime the person committed is being a Republican or Democrat.  Bush was compared to Hitler.  Obama is compared to Hitler.  Ignorance.  The true Hitler’s and Hitler’s eager followers of the world today are not politicians.  They are regular Joes who spread ignorance and accept slanderous views ignorantly.  And if these trending habits don’t cease and desist, the damaging consequences will be unsurpassable. I pray the consequences will not be millions of extinguished innocent lives.  One holocaust is enough to taint humanity through the eternities.    

Bullying

In honor of Anne, I think it is fitting that I start with bullying.

Bullying drives me crazy!!!  We've all heard it—“if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all".  And in my mind—I  immediately think of Thumper the rabbit in Bambi.  Well, this simple lesson is apparently too hard for far too many to learn.  And now that we live in a world where we can sit in front of a computer screen and connect with people everywhere, bullying is running rampant.  Bullying is no longer just a play yard event.  Bullying has infiltrated our homes and every other aspect of our lives.

All three of my brothers were bullied in school.  My husband was bullied and so were many of his family.  They were physically and verbally bullied.  This is bad enough—and yet, bullying has gotten worse.

Bullies nowadays, need to drive their viciousness farther and harder!

Texting and tweeting.  Facebook and Instagram.  These technological advancements in socializing can be life-changing.  Sadly, there is more than one way to change someone's life.  And bullies use these opportunities to damage.

Who are bullies?  We usually picture the gruff looking kid at school or the person who is bullied and abused at home and perpetuates the actions they've physically experienced themselves.  But bullies come in all shapes and sizes.  You could be a bully and not even realize it.  It is so easy to jump on the negativity bandwagon.  I've watched as someone innocently posts an opinion on Facebook and then the comments come rolling in—insulting and accusatory.  Something as innocent as a mother posting a concerned question about their child somehow means it is okay to berate her ability to mother.  Seriously?

What would your love ones think if they read what you were writing?  Better yet, how would you feel if the roles were reversed and someone was belittling you publicly? Are these posts something you would feel comfortable saying face to face?  

Social media gives people a false sense of reality.  Because the slander is posted on an inanimate object—phone, computer, tablet—there is a disconnect.  It's not real, right?  I can't see their faces, so how could I possibly be hurting someone? Even though the intended viewers are—again—relatively faceless, they are REAL and their pain is REALITY.  Once the damage is done, it is like a virus spreading through a virtual world. And there are those who are watching and waiting with feverishly impatient fingers to jump in on the slanderous disgorging. 

Social media is not faceless.  There are unique and feeling individuals in front of the screen.

That brings up another kind of bullying.

Let me start with, I'm grateful to be an American.  I'm grateful for the right to vote.  Now...something that I abhor with all my heart is the malicious campaigning from both sides.  In a nation where we say we are trying to teach our children that bullying is wrong, there is something horribly hypocritical about how elections are won.  During an election year, bullying is sanctioned.  "Hey!  They're only politicians--they don't have feelings,” right?  Wrong!  Or even better, "they chose this"...yes, they chose this profession...a profession of representing the people—us, We the People...not a profession of being slandered and bullied.

Using lies or (worse in my opinion) twisted truths (you know, the age old tactic of "it's out of context") to try and win an election to represent the people of this great Nation, is WRONG!  And yet it is propagated by The People.  I can't believe how much of this bullying was clogging up my news feed.

Anyway...my point...Bullying is Bullying...no matter what name you stamp on it or who approves this message.  I hope for the day that We the People stand up to this debased behavior by voting for people who stand on their own merit and not the follies or so-called follies of others.

If you are frustrated with the way politics are going, how about producing a plan.  Stop committing logical fallacies!  When you are arguing a point and you find you need to insult the opposing side—you've lost the argument and solved nothing.

Now for other famous people.  Actors and musicians seem to get the blunt end of bullying.  They are bullied on social media, they are bullied in super-markets, and they are bullied on television.  Every week I enter one of these domains and I am bombarded by the hateful rumors and implications famous So-and-So should have, could have, or would have committed.  And why is this type of bullying so prevalent in our society?  Because we crave it!  We want the scandal and the good old gossip corner!  

We are paying for pain to be inflicted on others-whether it is through the magazines we buy or the news we demand.  And it breaks my heart that the people who bring me entertainment (entertainment that I can't imagine living without) are being punished publicly for their life choices and even their seemingly menial choices (you know...like, "Oh, my...no they did not wear that to the Grammy's")  And if the magazines and news didn't say enough—the regular Joe is always willing to add their own two-cents on social media.

Do you spread negative thoughts about someone—even if it is true?  Well, stop!  And if you are about to post something about someone you know that damages their reputation or their self-esteem—stop!  Whether you know them or not, whether they're famous or not, whether they injured you first or not, here is a good rule of thumb—if it is negative about someone—don't post it!  Try filling your posts with all the positive things in this world.  There are a lot of good people and a lot of praiseworthy things to post about.  And for those who still bully the so-called old fashioned way—stop and think before you act!  Bring joy into the lives of others.  We don't need negativity crowding up our lives.  We need hope.  Hope in the good-hearted people, who are found thriving in every country across the world.

Check out this well-done video on bullying: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FYVvE4tr2BI&feature=youtu.be

For information on how to stop bullying check out:  http://www.stopbullying.gov

Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram—as well as other social media, all have options for reporting bullying.  If you are being bullied or know someone who is being bullied, don't be afraid to use these resources to report it!  

P.S. Anyone who wishes to leave their mark on this blog with a smart alec bullying act—tough luck!  All comments will be previewed (not by me) before posting.  So don't waste your time.  I want this blog to encourage good will and good-heartedness.  And that is all I will allow.  Now, if you want to express your opinion respectfully—have at it!

Dedicated to the Anne Franks of this world

I have always admired Anne Frank--ever since I read the play based off her diary.  For those of you who have never read The Diary of a Young Girl, you should.  It takes place in Nazi Germany.  Anne is forced to hide in a small room with her family for a little over 2 years.  Why?  Because they were Jews.

This blog is not about Nazi Germany or the ensuing damage....no, it is inspired by some of the most beautiful words, written by a teenager---who lived in hiding because of hatred.

Her words:

"It's really a wonder that I haven't dropped all my ideals, because they seem so absurd and impossible to carry out.  Yet I keep them, because in spite of everything, I still believe that people are really good at heart."

I can't help but admire the heart she herself must have had.  Even though there was hatred keeping her in hiding--and eventually killing her--she believed in people, and in their goodness.

Well, Anne Frank, so do I.

I believe that most of this world is made up of the "good at heart".  Some of these hearts may be entrapped by years of hatred and disappointment.  But I'm hoping that maybe, just maybe, I may be able to help bring some good hearts out of hiding and prove that people really are good at heart.